Session 3 "Inspired by Scripture"

Session 5:  Spiritual Friendship

Job 2   - Job`s Friends

7 So Satan went out from the presence of the LORD and afflicted Job with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the crown of his head. 

8Then Job took a piece of broken pottery and scraped himself with it as he sat among the ashes. 

9 His wife said to him, “Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!” 

10 He replied, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” In all this, Job did not sin in what he said. 

11When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. 

12 When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. 

13 Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.

What do we notice in reading about Job`s friends...?


Thoughts About Friendship - what resonates with your experience?


 “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”
– Walter Winchell


 “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”
– C.S. Lewis


“True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable.”
– Washington Irving


“Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation.”
– Oscar Wilde


 “In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”
– Albert Schweitzer


“Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.”
– Ed Cunningham


“The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when someone asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer.”
— Henry David Thoreau



Three Models of Spiritual Companionship

1) American Evangelical

 What are the Elements of Spiritual Friendship?

What does spiritual friendship look like in practice? We want to learn from Jesus, the model spiritual friend. From Jesus’ friendship with His disciples we see that spiritual friendship has at least the following components.

1. They love one another

2. They accept one another

3. They are loyal to each other

4. They teach one another

5. They correct one another

6. They share their burdens with each other

7. They encourage each other

Here then are seven elements of spiritual friendship that Jesus models for us. There may be more dimensions to spiritual friendship but these seven are fundamental.  






2) Ignatian Spiritual Direction 

Regular direction can involve a one- to two-hour meeting every four to eight weeks, and thus is slightly less intense than retreat direction, although spiritual exercises and disciplines are often given for the directee to attempt between meetings. The Spiritual exercises of Ignatius of Loyola are a common resource in spiritual direction.




Spiritual direction is “help given by one Christian to another which enables that person to pay attention to God’s personal communication to him or her, to respond to this personally communicating God, to grow in intimacy with this God, and to live out the consequences of the relationship.” (William A. Barry and William J. Connolly, The Practice of Spiritual Direction)


Spiritual direction focuses on religious experience. It is concerned with a person’s actual experience of a relationship with God.


Spiritual direction is about a relationship. The religious experience is not isolated, nor does it consist of extraordinary events. It is what happens in an ongoing relationship between the person and God. Most often this is a relationship that is experienced in prayer.

Spiritual direction is a relationship that is going somewhere. God is leading the person to deeper faith and more generous service. The spiritual director asks not just “what is happening?” but “what is moving forward?”


The real spiritual director is God. God touches the human heart directly. The human spiritual director does not “direct” in the sense of giving advice and solving problems. Rather, the director helps a person respond to God’s invitation to a deeper relationship.



3) Celtic Anam Cara - Soul Friend

…is a phrase that refers to the Celtic concept of the "soul friend" in religion and spirituality. The phrase is an anglicization of the Irish word anamchara, anam meaning "soul" and cara meaning "friend". The term was popularized by Irish author John O'Donohue in his 1997 book Anam Ċara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom about Celtic spirituality. In the Celtic tradition "soul friends" are considered an essential and integral part of spiritual development.[1] The Martyrology of Óengus recounts an incident where Brigid of Kildare counseled a young cleric that "...anyone without a soul friend is like a body without a head." A similar concept is found in the Welsh periglour.


The Anam Cara involves  friendship that psychotherapist William P. Ryan describes as "compassionate presence". According to O'Donohue, the word anamchara originates in Irish monasticism, where it was applied to a monk's teacher, companion, or spiritual guide. Edward C. Sellner traces its origin to the early Desert Fathers and Desert Mothers: "This capacity for friendship and ability to read other people's hearts became the basis of the desert elders' effectiveness as spiritual guides." Their teachings were preserved and passed on by the Christian monk John Cassian, who explained that the soul friend could be clerical or lay, male or female.

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A Lack of Friendship- An Epidemic of Loneliness

 From the CBC:  Perlita Stroh · CBC News · Posted: Jan 19, 2019

 Loneliness has long been recognized as being bad for a person's mental health, but research is now showing it can also be physically harmful.

"We know now it not only affects their quality of life, but the length of it too," says Ami Rokach, a psychologist at Toronto's York University who has studied loneliness for more than 30 years.

Beyond causing heightened rates of depression, anxiety and irritability, loneliness is now being associated with potentially life-shortening health issues such as higher blood pressure, heart disease and obesity. Some experts have gone as far as to argue that being lonely for a prolonged period is more harmful to a person's health than smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

Rokach adds that the associated stigma often prevents those experiencing intense loneliness from seeking help."People think if they admit they are lonely it means people don't want to be with them."

It's a global problem. In the U.K., the situation has become so pressing the government there has appointed a loneliness minister to tackle the issue. In Canada, studies have found that one in five Canadians identify as being lonely.

Part of the issue is that more and more Canadians are living alone — 28 per cent of households, according to recent numbers by Statistics Canada. Higher rates of divorce, stronger dependence on technology and sprawling urbanization have also been credited as contributing factors to loneliness. But regardless of the reasons why it occurs, the consensus is that it's happening and the results are damaging.

 Some scholars suggest that we are experiencing an “epidemic of loneliness.” Indeed, research shows that around one in five Canadians experience some level of loneliness or isolation. The most at-risk group are the elderly due to their lack of mobility and shrinking social networks; however, studies suggest that loneliness also peaks in adolescents.

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Discuss the loneliness problem in our society. Where do we see it? What contributes to it?

How can we help address the epidemic of isolation and loneliness?

What gifts do we have to share?

What are we doing now?